


only fools rush in

by callunavulgari



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: (except not really), Bodyswap, Campaign: Balance (The Adventure Zone), Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Magic Made Them Do It, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-29 02:00:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30149013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callunavulgari/pseuds/callunavulgari
Summary: “Okay,” Taako says, sitting down heavily. “So. Ancient ritual to… bring people together?”Magnus chuckles nervously. “There’s got to be an undo button though, right?”Taako makes a face. “Rituals are tricky. There’s usually some kind of climax, a culmination of steps that propels you towards the general outcome. I can’t imagine that this,” he gestures towards himself, then Magnus, “is the climax. It feels more like one of the steps. A means to an end.”“So, there’s a solution."Taako sighs. He squints at the two figures again, lifting his hand and pressing a single thumb to the space between them. “I think… that it’s self explanatory. The solution is pretty simple when it comes down to it. What brings people together?”Magnus licks his lips. “Puppies?”“No,” Taako says, grimly. “Climax.”
Relationships: Magnus Burnsides/Taako
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	only fools rush in

**Author's Note:**

> I finished The Adventure Zone's Balance arc a week or so ago and promptly had feelings all over the place about Taako and Magnus and what could have happened during the stolen century. I sat down with the intention to write something short and exploratory. A character study. Something to get their voices right in my head before I moved onto other things. And then... bodyswap happened? I couldn't explain it if I tried. 
> 
> If you are concerned about the aliens/magic made them do it tag, don't be. Spoilers, but it's a fake out. Nobody is made to do anything, but they do discuss the matter.
> 
> Initial prompts that I used as a spring board were: "brontide - the low rumbling of distant thunder" and "height difference kisses where one person has to bend down and the other is on their tippy toes." Title is from 'Can't Help Falling In Love' because I was listening to [Tommee Profitt's cover of it](<a%20href=) and "wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you" struck me as the most Magnus thing to ever Magnus. Which let's be real, is why this story even happened. I also listened to [Voidfish (Plural)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeFGfulFWPY) basically on repeat the entire time I was writing this.
> 
> Lastly, I've been editing this sucker for over a week now, and it still feels like I don't quite have their voices down. But if I don't move on at this point I'm going to go crazy and never post it. Maybe I'll feel better about the next one.

The world that they’ve ended up on this cycle is green as far as the eye can see, positively lush with life. Springy grass still damp with dew grows underfoot. Mile-high trees stretch skyward, canopies so heavy with new growth that in places, it’s hard to make out the sun above. Delicate pink blossoms lie nestled in the thick moss that grows along the forest floor. 

Everything smells _alive_ , the air thick with the scent of growing things. Loam and soil and ozone. 

Magnus has never really been the type to lose it over a tree or two. He’s happily left that particular job to Merle and his buddies. But this world? So fresh and green and _new_ \- it’s breathtaking. He wants to spread himself out on the ground and roll in it. Curl his fingers into the cool dampness of the soil and just _breathe_.

They make camp not far from the ship. 

The last cycle had ended badly, with most of them dead before the week was up, so they agreed before they even left the ship that it was best to play it safe this time around. 

Stay close to the ship. Don’t take unnecessary risks. And above all, _be careful_.

So, they do what they do best. They fall into old patterns. Lup and Barry leave to set up the perimeter while Merle and Davenport scout ahead. Which leaves him and Taako to actually set up the camp while Lucretia inspects some of the flora with a critical eye a couple dozen feet away.

It’s simple work. Easy. Routine. Taako still complains, of course, because he’s _Taako_. He lives for the drama of it, elegantly draping himself against trees and moaning about the state of his nails with a very put-upon, woe-is-me pout. That’s routine too, though. Magnus listens to Taako gripe as he sets to work, keeping half an eye on him as he sets up the tents.

It isn’t hard work, and he wouldn’t mind doing it himself, but after a few minutes of steady complaining, Taako begrudgingly joins him. 

When it’s done, night is already falling. The breeze is cool, cooling the sweat that clings to his forearms. He’s about to ask Taako if he wants to go find the others when he stops, frowning at the faint glow that’s begun to permeate the clearing. He turns to look and- stops. 

The forest is lighting up around them - some kind of bioluminescence, veins of glowing blue at the heart of every leaf. As Magnus watches, breathless, the trees come to life. Along the forest floor, dozens of unnoticed mushrooms stretch their stalks higher, as if reaching for the light. 

Magnus swallows, watching this unfold. His hands clench and unclench at his sides, heart in his throat. And then, like a flower turning towards the sun, he turns his gaze to Taako.

Taako is _resplendent_ , the lines of his mouth soft, lips faintly parted. His eyes are wide and there’s awe there, a kernel of joy that’s blooming to life in his eyes, at the corners of his lips, turning faintly upwards, all the more special because of how rare it is. 

Magnus breathes. His chest feels tight, heart throbbing.

It’s been… a problem, for the last few cycles. Taako is distractingly easy on the eyes, which isn’t exactly a new dilemma. Taako and Lup are both unfairly gorgeous, and they know it. Everyone with eyes knows it. The sun is hot. Snow is cold. Taako is a _fucking_ snack.

The problem is that for the last few years, the last few cycles, the last few jumps, Magnus has been… distracted. Slowly but surely, he’s being pulled into Taako’s gravitational orbit. He’s been noticing the little things, finding himself absurdly fucking charmed every goddamn time that Taako opens his mouth. Every crappy joke makes him smile. Every smile makes his heart cartwheel in his chest.

It’s only a problem if he makes it a problem, he tells himself, but then something like this will happen. Magnus will be standing there, minding his own business, and Taako will say or do something that just... takes a fucking wrecking ball to his ribcage.

It shouldn’t be fair, letting any one person be that beautiful. 

Magnus lets himself watch for a moment. Maybe two. Little motes of blue light are blooming to life around them, like little fireflies. It’s haunting and gorgeous and he will remember this world long after the hunger swallows it, but for now, nothing is half as beautiful as the rapturous look that’s painted across Taako’s face. 

Magnus coughs, wincing. The moment breaks and Taako blinks, turning to him curiously, and Magnus-

He needs a moment.

“I’m uh,” he says, stopping to clear his throat when his voice comes out alarmingly creaky. “I’m gonna go take a walk.”

Taako looks at him like he’s grown a second head. His arm is still outstretched towards the flecks of light, but he’s distracted now, a little frown crossing his face. 

“You sure that’s a good idea?” Taako cocks his head, blinking at Magnus again. He takes a step closer to him, hand raised between them as if he’s planning on reaching out, as if he’s planning on _touching_ -

Magnus shies away from him, and tries not to notice the way that Taako blinks too fast in response, not quite quick enough to mask the flicker of hurt. 

Magnus takes one step away, and then two, backing towards the cover of the forest. He bites his lip, wringing his hands behind his back. Taako’s still looking at him like he’s lost his damned mind, but it’s tempered with something else now, something that looks a lot like curiosity. And Magnus has known Taako long enough to know that a curious Taako is a dangerous Taako.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Magnus tells him, waving a hand dismissively. He tries for a smile. 

Taako’s frown has deepened now, the space between his brows pinched. 

“You shouldn’t go alone,” Taako says, very reasonably. He shifts his weight to one side, cocking a hip out, and adds a little drawl, a little _judgement_ to his voice. “Just saying, but it’d be pretty dumb to die on your first day here.”

Magnus shrugs. He’s already backing away. “It’ll be fine. I’ve got my axe and a good set of lungs. If something goes wrong, I’ll just shout.”

Taako still looks dubious, but the others are drifting back towards their little corner of the clearing now. They’re all shouting over each other, and Magnus can hear the giddiness in their voices, the pure incandescent joy as they marvel at the strange new world around them. As Magnus watches, Lup turns away from Barry, a huge smile on her face, and calls out to Taako, who blinks and turns away from Magnus, just for a second.

Magnus slips away while he’s distracted.

He walks for a while.

The forest is lovely. The night sounds here are strange. Little chirrups and calls unlike anything he’s heard before. It’s like they echo off the trees themselves, making it difficult to pinpoint whichever direction they’re coming from. 

The foliage gets thicker as he walks. There are more trees here, packed together so tightly that their branches are all tangled up together, grown into each other like a complicated web of gnarled wood. The grass that coated the landing site so thickly is all but gone, replaced with a bedding of decay. Purple leaves crunch underfoot, dried out and crumbling. Strange spindly insects spin sticky webs of neon green silk, making their home in rotting logs.

The walk is quiet. Even a little bit freeing. It’s a breath of fresh air, a moment alone to compartmentalize his feelings. And then, there’s a low rumble of distant thunder, and Magnus stops, blinking. 

He can’t tell which direction the sound came from. But he hears it again, a moment later, closer. Louder. 

There’s a storm coming. A storm. On a strange planet that they know absolutely nothing about. 

Maybe Taako was right. Maybe Magnus shouldn’t have come alone.

The moment he thinks it, the trees begin to creak ominously around him. He blinks as the light begins to fade, the strange bioluminesce getting dimmer and dimmer as wind begins to whip through the trees. 

As he watches, the leaves closest to him curl up, furling tightly in on themselves.

He swallows. The suddenness of the storm is shocking. 

“Well, fuck,” he says. Taako’s never going to let him hear the end of this.

And then the rain hits.

Moments ago, the canopy was thick enough to protect him from a couple drops of rain. But now, all of those huge leaves have vanished. It’s a sign, Magnus thinks, of just how bad the storms on this world can get that its flora has evolved with a very specific defense mechanism. 

The downpour hits him, sheets of freezing rain that soak him in an instant.

Magnus runs - blindly, staggering between tree trunks in the dark. The forest still smells of growing things, but it’s starting to fill with the bite of ozone and wet. The sharp tang of electricity clinging to the back of his teeth. He needs _shelter_.

He collides with something solid and lets out an oath of surprise that’s half wheeze, going down hard and taking whatever it is down with him. He lies there for a moment, dazed, but the rain on his face is enough to drown him if he lets it, if he so much as breathes wrong. There’s a voice next to him, muffled and tinny over the roar of the rain. He turns his head towards it and reaches out, fingers searching until they find the hem of a coat, and then further, until his entire palm comes down on what is undeniably someone’s waist. 

Something grips him by the ear, yanking his head downwards, and then Taako’s voice is in his ear, shouting to, “Get a fucking move on, dumbass!”

Magnus blinks, staggering to his feet and dragging Taako up with him. 

They run.

Taako’s got a strange little ball of light hovering over his head - one that zigs and zags along with them - and for a while it’s just them and that little light and the pounding rain. The storm is picking up speed, the wind harsh and biting, lashing needle-sharp drops of rain against their faces. The first branch that comes down nearly hits him, bigger and thicker than his arm. 

He doesn’t know which of them spots the cave in the dark, but they go darting towards it without a second thought, dodging falling branches as they go.

“Fuck,” Taako gasps as they make it inside. They’re both panting for breath, chests heaving. Taako’s light is still there, bobbing around his head, casting the cave in an eerie glow. As Magnus watches, a droplet of blood oozes down Taako’s forehead.

“Shit,” Magnus says, wincing. He reaches out before he can stop himself, fingers coming to light on Taako’s brow. He keeps the touch gentle, just the pads of his fingers dragging against the damp skin he finds there, but he can spot the change in Taako’s breathing, the way his body goes rigid. “That looks like it smarts. Are you okay?” 

The gash isn’t too bad. God knows they’ve both had worse, but head wounds bleed like a bitch and this one is oozing sluggishly, painting the left half of Taako’s face red.

Taako’s mouth is parted, his eyes wide, and he looks- he looks a bit like he did before. Back when this world wasn’t trying to kill them. And then he swallows, visibly steeling himself, and swats Magnus’s hand away.

“Don’t _touch it_ ,” he bites out waspishly. “Who knows where your hands have been.”

Magnus shrugs, taking his hands back. “Suit yourself.”

They watch the rain for a long few moments. The younger trees are bending, snapping one by one under the force of the wind. 

“Guess we know now why there were so many fallen trees,” he murmurs, and Taako makes a wordless noise of agreement.

A minute passes. Then two, three. Silence.

“How long do you think this is going to last?” Magnus ventures after the silence has well and truly gotten to him.

Taako turns a poisonous glare on him, still dripping, and says, “I don’t know, Magnus. I’m really not an expert on planets with strange glowing forests and gale force winds. Because, y’know. I only landed on it _a few hours ago_. I would have had the good sense not to go tearing off into it if I hadn’t been forced to chase down my _braindead_ crewmember.”

“Okay,” Magnus admits with a sigh. “So you were right. I shouldn’t have gone alone. Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” Taako deadpans, giving Magnus one last withering look before he turns away, tugging his hair over one shoulder as he goes. Carefully, he begins to wring the whole soaking mass of it out, eyes mapping out the corners of the room. 

“What is this place anyway?” Taako asks, squinting in the direction of the far wall. He takes a couple steps forward. “Are those carvings?”

Magnus turns to look, ducking his head to scrutinize the strange shapes etched there. He frowns. “They are.”

At his shoulder, Taako reaches out, touching one hand to the wall. “They look old.”

Magnus licks his lips. The carvings are unlike any alphabet that he’s ever seen, a strange curling script that flows across the wall. He follows it deeper into the cave, keeping half his attention on the sound of Taako’s footsteps next to him. 

Several dozen paces in, the narrow hallway suddenly widens into a cavernous chamber. The strange script is carved into the walls here too, but is joined by other etchings. Figures. Geometric shapes. Patterns that Magnus can’t make heads or tails of. 

“They’re on the floor, too,” Taako tells him, and Magnus glances down, where sure enough, the script continues. He follows the path with his eyes, frowning at how the lettering is grouped more tightly together the further and further into the room it gets, how the carvings start to become cramped, as if whoever was carving them realized that they were running out of space. It goes on and on, ringing the room in concentric circles, until finally they converge at a single point-

Magnus sucks in a sharp breath. Says, “Taako.”

In the center of the room, there’s an altar.

It’s old and crumbling, but Magnus has seen an altar or two in his day, and this has all the makings of a really creepy one. He takes another step forward, into the innermost circle. The stone atop the altar is stained a rusty red.

He reaches out blindly, catching Taako’s hand in his.

“I see it,” Taako tells him, squeezing his hand once before letting go. He takes another step forward, craning his head until the ends of his hair are nearly brushing the worn stone. Magnus fights down the urge to tug him away.

“I feel like we should… maybe get away from the horrifying blood-stained altar,” Magnus says, refusing to take a step back until Taako comes with him. The urge to yank Taako off his feet and book it is _absurdly_ strong.

“There’s something here, though,” Taako says, and before Magnus can shout, brushes a finger against the stone of the altar.

Nothing happens.

“Huh,” Magnus says, padding over to join him. He peers at the altar curiously and sets a hand on the slab next to Taako’s. The stone, he finds, is faintly warm to the touch. “That’s weird. I would have thought-“

The world spins. Beside him, Taako sucks in a sharp breath. His shoulders go rigid and as Magnus watches, horrified, his eyes roll up into the back of his head and he collapses sideways like a puppet with cut strings.

Magnus starts to reach for him, but the world is going gray around the edges. Everything is spinning, and then the darkness is closing in, swallowing him whole.

  
When he wakes, Magnus is immediately aware that something is wrong. The room is dark and it takes him a long moment to remember where he is. 

The cave. The altar. Taako.

He pushes himself up onto his elbows with a grunt, wincing as his body protests the movement. His head feels like it’s splitting apart, but he gropes slowly across the stone floor until his fingers nudge up against something warm.

He shoves his way closer to the body, fingers mapping a path up Taako’s rib cage. He doesn’t feel hurt at least, no signs of any bleeding, but it’s strange. It’s like Taako’s chest is _broader_ , thick with muscle where he used to be lean and wiry. And then Magnus’s questing hand finds Taako’s face, sliding his palm along a strangely furry jawline-

Magnus shoves himself backward just as the figure in front of him moans.

“Magnus,” a voice calls, weakly. 

It is _not_ Taako’s voice. 

“Magnus?” the voice says again, and Magnus can make out the dim shape of the figure pushing itself half up, groaning as it manages to make it mostly upright. 

Magnus clears his throat. Asks, tentatively, “Taako?”

The figure freezes. 

And Magnus can tell that it - that _Taako_ \- is registering what Magnus already has. 

Because that voice? That voice wasn’t Taako’s. It was _his_.

And when Magnus responded… 

Well. He’s been around Taako for decades now. He knows what his voice sounds like. Even if it's coming from his own mouth.

The figure shoves itself towards him. In the darkness, even sitting this close, Magnus can still only make out the barest silhouette. But he knows that the shape is bigger than Taako’s. Knows it, intimately, because that shape in the dark is his body.

“Magnus?” Taako says again, and reaches out, his fingers coming to light on Magnus’ cheek. Magnus’ smooth, hairless cheek. Taako laughs, a little nervously, and pats the cheek, once, then twice. A thumb digs into his jawline. “Please tell me you just fucking shaved while I wasn’t looking.”

“Yeah, not so much,” Magnus tells him, drawing his legs up to his chest. He wraps his arms around himself, marveling at the narrowness of his frame. It’s so strange.

“I don’t have my magic,” Taako tells him, half-panicked. “I need to see-”

“I think that’s because I’ve got your magic, my dude,” Magnus says blankly. His fingers curl into the fabric at his knees. “How do you make that weird glowy ball you made earlier?”

Taako whispers the spell, and when Magnus repeats it-

Voila. Let there be light.

It’s a bit uncanny, seeing his own face staring back at him. Taako’s eyes are wide and as Magnus watches, he brings his hands up to the light to stare at them, turning them palm up.

“Huh,” he says. “That’s fucking weird.”

Magnus swallows, looking down at his own hands. They’re small and faintly freckled, with slender fingers and narrow wrists. 

“Fucking yeah, it’s weird.”

After a moment, Taako shifts his weight uncomfortably. “So, what should we do?”

Magnus turns to him, grimacing. “You’re asking me?”

“Well, yeah,” Taako says, wincing. “I mean, okay, shit fuck, let’s figure this out. Storyboard this thing. So we know that there’s a weird fucking altar-”

“That we probably shouldn’t have touched,” Magnus adds.

Taako nods. “-Yeah, _that_. A weird fucking altar that we admittedly probably shouldn’t have touched. And that altar’s job is apparently to fuck with people.”

He trails into silence and Magnus raises an eyebrow expectantly. 

Taako shrugs. “That’s all I’ve got.”

“Yeah,” Magnus says, attempting to push his way to his feet. He nearly over balances, unused to Taako’s… everything, but catches himself against the side of the altar. “We’re totally boned.”

“Totally boned,” Taako agrees. 

They look at each other.

“So,” Magnus starts. 

“So,” Taako says. “Should we get the others?”

Magnus sighs. “Probably.”

Taako narrows his eyes. 

“But?”

“But it’s embarrassing?” 

Taako hums, making an attempt to heave himself to his feet. It goes poorly, but he manages it, standing propped against the other side of the altar with a dour look on his face.

“It _is_ embarrassing, yes,” Taako agrees, nose in the air. He’s doing that thing where he’s trying not to make a big deal out of something that is freaking him right the fuck out. If he’d been wearing his own face, it might have worked, but since he’s wearing Magnus’s, he just looks like he’s freaking out.

“So let’s just… examine the evidence, then,” Magnus says. He glances down at the altar between them, running a tentative hand across the surface. Predictably, nothing happens. “This weird fucking altar that fucks with people is in a cave in the middle of a really old, really cool forest. There is some kind of writing all over the walls and floor that we can’t read. _Everything_ is old.”

Taako snickers. “Old as balls.”

“Right,” Magnus says, nodding emphatically “Yes. That. Everything is old as balls, including the weird fucking altar that decided it would be a good idea that we inhabit each other’s bodies.”

Taako tilts his head. “Could be a curse.”

“Could be,” Magnus agrees. “But it feels… it feels more like some kind of ritual.”

Taako stares at him. He looks like he’s contemplating something, head cocked, chewing on his bottom lip. It’s strange, Taako’s body language, Magnus’s body.

“Okay,” Taako says slowly. “So ritual, then. What’s the ritual for? Why switch our bodies? Was it an accident? Or by design?”

Magnus squints at the lettering on the floor, the cramped and slanted script that runs clear up to the sides of the altar. He stoops, narrowing his eyes at something etched into the sides of the altar. 

“Design,” he says, brushing a hand against the stone to clear the dust from its surface. “Look, here.”

Taako blinks and after a moment navigating Magnus’s body and its relationship with gravity, he bends to see. Etched into the side of the crumbling altar is a crude drawing of two figures. They’re roughly the same height, barely a step above stick figures. And between their bodies, their hands are outstretched towards one another, fingers just barely brushing.

“Okay,” Taako says, sitting down heavily. “So. Ancient ritual to… bring people together?”

Magnus chuckles nervously. He knits his fingers together behind him. “There’s got to be an undo button though, right?”

Taako makes a face. “Rituals are tricky. There’s usually some kind of climax, a culmination of steps that propels you towards the outcome. I can’t imagine that this,” he gestures towards himself, then Magnus, “is the climax. It feels more like one of the steps. A means to an end.”

“So, there’s a solution.” 

Taako sighs. He squints at the two figures again, lifting his hand and pressing a single thumb to the space between them. “I think… that it’s self explanatory. The solution is pretty simple when it comes down to it. What brings people together?”

Magnus licks his lips. “Puppies?”

“No,” Taako says, grimly. “ _Climax_.”

Silence.

Magnus keeps breathing. His heart is beating overtime in Taako’s narrow chest. He feels a little like he’s having a heart attack.

“So,” Magnus starts tentatively. “Just so we’re clear, when you say climax, you mean…”

Taako sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Yes, Magnus. Sex. Fucking. Doing the do. _Making love_.”

“So the weird old cave wants us to have sex. With each other. While we’re in each other’s bodies.”

Taako shrugs listlessly. “It’s a working hypothesis.”

“And that’s supposed to help us come together… how?”

“Well,” Taako starts, blinking innocently. “By _coming togeth_ -”

Magnus groans loudly, reaching out to cover Taako's mouth. Taako, for his part, takes it in stride and cheerfully licks the palm of Magnus's hand before shoving it away from him.

“Oh please,” Taako says, wiping his mouth. “It could have been worse. You could be in this cave with Davenport. Or _Merle_.”

Magnus wrinkles his nose. “Gross.”

“I’m just saying,” Taako tells him with a short shrug. “On the list of people that you'd be forced to do the do with, please tell me that I’m at least near the top.”

Taako is examining his nails, his elbows on the altar. His posture is carefully nonchalant. His voice keyed to sound as uncaring as possible, face as blank as he can make it. But he’s also not looking at Magnus. 

He hasn’t looked at him at all, actually. It’s been at least a minute or two since they made actual fucking eye contact.

Magnus clears his throat. “I’d uh, rather not be forced to do anything with anybody, actually.”

Taako’s head jerks up, his eyes wide. “That’s not what I meant.”

“But it is kind of what’s happening, isn’t it?” Magnus says, spreading his arms. The light above his head is getting dimmer, and he really doesn’t want to burn another spell slot to get it back. It’s his turn to avoid Taako’s eyes when he says, “Tell me _right now_ that you’d choose this, under any other circumstance, and I’ll go along with it.”

Taako’s eyes are still wide. He looks dumbstruck. 

Magnus laughs. It’s a strange, slightly unhinged sound, pitchy. He’s not used to Taako’s vocal cords, he guesses.

“We didn’t choose this,” he murmurs, as gently as he can. “Some ancient civilization had some kind of ritual - _maybe_! - where two individuals could choose to become closer to one another this way. We didn’t get to choose. The cave, the altar- it chose for us.”

Taako takes a step towards him, face twisted. “But-”

Magnus takes a step back. 

“I am not going to force you to do anything,” he says, cutting Taako off before he can start. “We have choices here. We can sit this one out. It’ll be a little uncomfortable and everyone will probably make fun of us, but we can spend the rest of this cycle in each other’s bodies, and then when the next cycle hits we’ll be back to normal. Easy.”

He’s trembling. 

“Magnus,” Taako says, carefully. He takes another tentative step forward. “I wouldn’t-” his face twists again, and the emotion there is too open, too raw and unpolished to belong to Taako, but there it is, right there for Magnus to see. 

Taako takes a quiet breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth, and the emotion clears. Like magic.

He opens his eyes. 

“I would choose it,” he says, eyes on Magnus. “Maybe… maybe not like this, if I’d gotten more of a say in it. I’d make sure there were some candles to set the mood at least. Maybe some spaghetti and meatballs so we could do the Lady and the Tramp thing. And in this little fantasy we would _definitely_ be in our own bodies. But I- I’d choose you.”

Magnus looks at him. His throat feels tight.

He wants to say something stupid. Wants to crack a joke to lighten the tension. Wants to nope right the fuck out of this cave, right back into the storm still raging outside. 

“So, why didn’t you?” he asks quietly. “Before. Why haven’t you?”

Taako snorts, letting out a bark of laughter. He gestures above their heads to- to nothing. To everything. Life, the universe, the whole thing, and says, “Because I thought we had _time_.”

“Don’t lie,” Magnus says, voice a bit wobbly. “You just want the chance to fuck yourself.”

Taako licks his lips. A little smirk kicks up the corners of his mouth. 

“I mean, well, yeah,” he says, taking one last step closer, until he’s near enough to frame Magnus’s hips between his hands. He wiggles his eyebrows and says, playfully, “I am quite the snack.”

Magnus chuckles, but it still comes out strange. Hitched and pitchy. As he watches, Taako lifts his hand to Magnus’s face, sweeping a thumb along the swell of cheekbone there. When he lifts his thumb, it comes away wet. 

“C’mon, man,” Taako says, smiling. He tips his head forward to carefully press their brows together. “Stop making my face emote. It’s much too pretty to cry.”

Magnus laughs, and he knows why it sounds weird now, but it still surprises him to hear the wetness in it. 

“So, how does this work?” he asks once he’s calmer. Taako is pressed against him, and it’s- well, it’s fucking weird. Magnus is a big guy. He’s not used to looking up to anyone. He definitely isn’t used to looking up and seeing- himself.

“Not sure, actually,” Taako tells him. His chin is propped on the top of Magnus’s head. “This is 100% a new experience for me. It’s really fucking weird.”

Magnus licks his lips. “Should we just… kiss?”

Taako shrugs, glancing down at him. “That is generally how you get the ball rolling. Here, let me just-” He straightens, which has the unfortunate side effect of pushing him even further out of reach. Magnus snorts.

“Fuck, okay,” Taako says, seeing the problem. “Trial and error, right? Lemme just-”

He stoops awkwardly and Magnus wants to laugh, but can’t quite get around to it, because the next thing he knows, Taako is kissing him. 

It’s weird. He isn’t used to being the short one. Taako clearly isn’t used to being Magnus’s size. Magnus’s face is still damp with tears. But after some awkward fumbling, things just... click.

Taako tilts his head and their lips slide together smoothly. Magnus presses into him, going up on his toes to get closer, and he makes a quiet noise, shivering when one of Taako’s hands skims across his hip. 

“Oh,” he breathes, and opens his eyes.

Magnus blinks, disoriented.

“ _Oh_ ,” he says again, taking a step backwards.

Taako blinks his eyes open slowly. They’re heavy-lidded, his lips red, and he looks faintly affronted at the disturbance, beard burn on his chin. But most importantly, he’s himself again.

It takes a moment for him to seem to realize that. 

“A _kiss_?” Taako whispers, his voice a quiet hiss in the dark. “That’s all the stupid ritual wanted? A _kiss_?”

Magnus swallows down the urge to laugh at him. He reaches out, dragging his hand down Taako’s side, until the pads of his fingers are nudging up against his waist. His hand fits there, snugly. 

“Kisses do bring people closer together,” Magnus murmurs, and Taako glances up at him, still looking vaguely mutinous, so Magnus leans down to kiss him again. 

It does the job, quieting him instantly. 

“Can we still-?” Taako asks him between kisses. His body is a warm press of searing solidity and heat. Magnus groans. 

“God, yes,” he gasps, and Taako breathes a happy little sigh before promptly climbing him like a tree. 

Magnus staggers against the altar. He has the sudden thought, as his hands are drifting down to squeeze Taako’s ass, that this was exactly what it was intended for. Taako makes another quiet, desperate noise, hips bucking forwards, and Magnus forgets about everything else.

And afterwards, if he makes a crack about it being a shame that Taako missed the chance to fuck himself?

Well. It’s a damn good thing that he’s hooking up with a wizard.


End file.
